


A Tale of Two Revans

by OrderOfRevan



Series: Order's Rogue Robin Collection [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Cassus Jaylen, F/M, Maxima Jaylen, Revan Meets FemRevan, The Force, rougerobin010
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 00:51:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10231835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrderOfRevan/pseuds/OrderOfRevan
Summary: Revan is surprised one lonely, rainy, day by a stranger in Jedi Robes suddenly appearing in her apartment.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to leave it open ended for your pleasure, and also used FemRevan because I know more people have FemRevan and enjoy writing her than Male Revan. I wanted to give you a reason to be interested in this story. Enjoy!

 

It didn’t rain often on Coruscant, but when it did, Revan liked to imagine the trails of it hitting the windows, each splashing off in a million directions. Sometimes, she felt like one of those raindrops, shattering against the glass of fate, changing size and trajectory with each impact until she was nothing more than a miniscule particle of moisture, absorbed into the atmosphere. 

Lying in bed, she stared up at the roof, listening to the sounds, unable to sleep, especially knowing Carth was still on his tour of duty and wouldn't return for another week. Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, she walked toward the fresher to splash water on her face, staring into the mirror, her dark brow furrowed over her equally dark eyes. 

Not all dark, she thought, staring at the flecks of eerie white-yellow around her irises, phantom scars that served as a reminder of a life she couldn’t remember living. 

Sometimes, she still couldn’t believe it. 

Pulling away from the mirror, carding her fingers through her dark hair, Revan stared back into the bedroom, her brow furrowing when she heard voices come from the other room. Her entire body tensing, she grabbed the plunger to use as a weapon, hoping she could swing it with enough force to do damage. 

Stepping lightly, she stepped back into the bedroom… 

And found no one, though she could still clearly hear voices speaking. With some shame, she realized it was the holo projector in the other room, and she’d just walked into her own bedroom holding a plunger like an idiot. 

Tossing the plunger carelessly aside, she sat on her bed and listened to the muted sounds of the voices through the door. Some kind of news program, she thought, which made sense since she’d been watching the news last night before bed. Something about the reconstruction of Telos, though she couldn't be sure exactly what was being said about it. 

Leaning back on the bed, she stared at the ceiling again, feeling listless, but not hungry enough to get up and get food. 

Another week alone, she thought, another week without Carth. She’d left the Jedi Order, turned in her saber, and had nothing to do. No job, no nothing, except a Cross of Glory framed on the wall somewhere in the apartment. 

She didn’t even have the benefit of the old voices to keep her company -- No Dark Shadow of the Self calling her “Jaybird”, or pointing out things she might have missed, just HK, T3, and the burgeoning realization that she was never going to remember more than whispers through the fog of her damaged brain. Rolling over onto her side, she stared at the blue-green numbers blazing on the black clockface -- Still early, too early to get up, what what choice did she really have? She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. 

Revan pushed herself to her feet again, freezing so still she almost stop breathing when she heard another voice, a deep muttering that somehow sounded more  _ real _ than the the voices coming from the holocomm. Narrowing her eyes, she slipped silently off the bed and groped on the ground for her plunger, grasping it firmly in her hands as she crept toward the door, approaching it slowly as it hissed open. 

“---ot all in the same place,” the voice said, clear now that she was no longer locked away in her room. “It’s on the wrong wall. Kriffing hell, what have you gotten yourself into this time?” 

Revan crept along the wall, slipping into the sitting room where she saw a man standing with his back to her. Not a man, she thought, a small tree, taller than even Malak had been. She couldn’t see his face, and the apartment didn’t appear to have been broken into, but that didn’t mean he still hadn’t found a way to sneak in. 

Gritting her teeth, she leapt toward him, the world around her seeming to slow, even as he spun around to knock her back with a blast of energy she recognized. The wall of invisible Force pushed her back, her eyes darting to his belt as she landed gracefully across from him, finding exactly what she expected there.

“Nice lightsaber,” she said, motioning toward it with a nod of her head. “Do Jedi ever knock?” 

“Nice plunger,” he said in reply, a grin stretching across his features, though his eyes… 

Those were more serious, and not so different from hers, dark with flecks of yellow around the iris.  

“I assume it came with the apartment. Fully furnished, right? Not bad.” He placed his hands on his hips, making no move to come toward her in spite of the defensive position she still took, head of her plunger outstretched like the blade of a sword. “Does the government pay the rent?” 

“Who the kriff  _ are _ you?” Revan asked, exasperated as he turned toward her with another lazy smile and a leisurely shrug. 

“Good question. I’ll get back to you when I know the answer.” He laughed, a long, deep sound, almost like a villain in a holodrama -- it sent chills up her spine if only because it wasn’t so different from her own. “I guess you can call me Cass, or this is going to get confusing fast. Not that I have much of a taste for the name anymore.” 

She opened and closed her mouth, staring up into his face, trying to figure out exactly what he was going on about, hoping there were more clues in his expression. Revan reached out with her senses, and could feel only him through the Force, for the moment, his presence the sort of overwhelming presence only those very powerful possessed. Again, not so different from herself. 

Revan swallowed heavily, tracing his features with her eyes; sharp, dark eyes, dark hair, tall, casual but with an edge to his stance that belied something dangerous about him, more dangerous than the lightsaber hanging at his hip. A scar across his lip, a wound from an old battle, one not dissimilar from her own, she thought as she absently dropped the plunger to one side to reach up with her hand and touch it. 

“I’m going to ask who you are again, and this time I want you to answer honestly.” Revan said seriously, dropping the plunger to the ground to cross her arms over her chest, watching amusement flicker across his features. 

“The answer I gave you  _ was _ honest,” he replied. “I have more holes in my memory than a Kaminoan sponge, but I suspect you know that already.” She stared at him more intensely and he sighed. “Fine. I’m Revan. I hope that answer satisfies you.” 

“You can’t be Revan,” she objected, in spite of sensing his honesty, which at the very  _ least _ meant he was completely delusional, and the  _ most  _ meant there was something very, very strange going on here. “I’m Revan.”

“And thus we seem to be at a bit of an impasse. Two Revans. One apartment.” He gestured vaguely to his lightsaber. “One lightsaber. Do you have any food? I’m famished.” 

“Food?” she asked, absently, finding that she believed him and berating herself for it. “Come to think of it, I haven’t eaten yet, myself. You… Uh… I’m assuming you’re fine with eggs.” 

He -- Cass -- nodded, turning himself immediately toward the kitchen, where he leaned against the counter, staring out the window over the sink. “City looks the same,” he said absently. “I’m willing to bet the rest of the Galaxy does, too.” He looked at her over his shoulder. “Do you live here alone?” 

Revan swallowed thickly as she turned to her icebox, searching for her eggs. “Uh… Feels like it. My husband is supposed to be here, but he… Works. A lot.” 

“Onasi?” he asked, his eyebrows arching high, and she quickly turned back to her work, feeling… Judged, actually. “And you left the Order? Not that I blame you. I’d have left it too if it weren’t for…”

“Bastila?” She asked, him, turning around with her box of eggs. “You married Bastila? That’s…” 

“No less strange than you marrying Onasi,” he said, smiling at her. “Besides, Bastila and I are at home together. Neither of us really…” A shrug. “The Order isn’t very fond of me “corrupting” her, so we spend most of our time alone together.” 

Revan arched her eyebrows as she walked over to the stove, taking out a pan, cracking the eggs into it. “Sounds fun.” 

She was surprised at how bitter her own voice sounded. “It’s not really his fault,” she said. “I’m just having a hard time accepting that. Dustil… comes over a lot. Talks to me. Mission and Zaalbar, too. Carth calls as often as he can. He’s trying to get a more permanent posting, you know… It’s just getting to me more than I thought it would.” 

“I’m trying not to judge too much,” Cass replied, watching her as she began to work, giving her an amused look as he pushed her over to take over himself. “Besides, it hasn’t all been sunshine and flowers for me, either. Bastila took awhile to come to terms with what she felt, and even then… She’s a lot younger than me. I really feel that keenly sometimes, and then I feel like I might have rushed her into things.” He laughed softly. “All relationships are complex. If you think you can make things with Onasi work, that’s what matters.” 

She watched him for a moment, leaning back against the counter, his brows furrowed deeply as he worked. It was funny, she thought as she looked at him, she really was starting to believe that they were the same person, not only because of the way he moved, but because some of the things he had been saying. 

Absently, she rubbed the back of her neck, exhaling slowly. 

“You’re right. Relationships are complex. It’s what keeps me trying,” she laughed and smiled, pulling away from the counter to get them some dishes to eat on. “You… really are Revan, aren’t you?” 

“I ask myself that all the time,” he said, turning off the burner as he pulled away from the stove. “But, yes, I think I am.” 

For a moment, all was silent between them before they both began to laugh. 

The atmosphere shifted, from tense and uncertain to comfortable as she braced herself against the counter again, shaking her head from side to side. The absurdity of it, of the odd, shared pain she could tell he had experience with, the pain of knowing and not knowing at the same time, and all the self loathing that came with it, somehow made laughter well in her chest. This strange, alternate universe, mirror who had married Bastila and stayed in the Order, standing in her kitchen cooking eggs, laughing with her… 

It was all so surreal. 

But for the first time in a long time, she felt understood. 

“Why are you here?” she asked when she’d caught her breath. 

“I don’t know,” Cass admitted as he pushed the eggs onto the plates. “I was standing in my sitting room one second, and then I was in yours. If I could figure out how it had happened, I would go back, but no luck yet.” 

He sat down one one of the large stools by the counter, still staring out the window while she pushed her eggs around her own plate with her fork. “So there might not be a reason for it. It could just be an anomaly. A disturbance in the Force?” 

Revan looked up, finding her kitchen empty again, fork clattering onto the plate where he had been standing a moment before. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed, at first, suddenly alone again, though her second impression was to wonder if she was losing her mind. 

Sighing, she ran her hand over her face, scraping his eggs onto her plate before sitting back at the counter and staring out the window. The city really never changed, she thought, no matter how many years passed, Coruscant was one of the few places her blurry memory could still recall, a monolith of grey and black and white. 

At least she had that much. 

“Cass, huh?” she asked herself. “I’m guessing I haven’t seen the last of you, if you were even real and not just some desperate… _ Something _ .” 

Revan sighed. 

Today was going to be a long day. 

* * *

The man calling himself Cass didn’t return for another week, a week during which she did her best to occupy herself in every way possible. She even contacted Bastila, who confided in her that rebuilding her ties with the Jedi Order had been slow going, and that retraining the way they wished her too after her brief stint on the Dark Side was difficult. The world was open to new possibilities, one she’d previously been blind to, and she couldn’t go back to seeing in pristine shades of white when she’d finally glimpsed the color the contrast of the dark brought to her world.

Revan knew how she felt, honestly. 

Her world felt different for having known herself as she really was. She had looked into her reflection, and in the saturation of the dark, found the light just as lacking. 

She wondered if Bastila belonged in the Order anymore than she did. 

That’s what she was contemplating, sitting on her couch one morning flipping through the programming for one of the channels when a shadow suddenly loomed over her.     

She glanced up, looking into the face of the Other Revan, who was holding something in his hands, a little brown package, one that made her quirk her eyebrow. Without being asked, he returned her expression with a wry smile and sat down next to her, holding out the wrapped package toward her. 

“What’s this?” she asked him, holding up a finger to quickly add an addendum. “And don’t say a box. That’s what I would say, and I want a serious answer.” 

“Something you’re sorely lacking. And I’ve been holding onto that for the last three days, hoping I’d stumble back here, so you’d better be grateful.”

She gave him a withering look and he sighed. “Just open it.” 

Revan made a disgruntled noise and tore the package open, almost dropping the box when she saw what was inside, her throat growing tight. Her own touch was reverent when she pulled the cylinder from its tiny, brown container, running the tips of her calloused fingers along the familiar ridges. 

“Is it purple?” she asked him, earning herself a laugh. 

“What else?” he replied, grinning from cheek to cheek, patting his hands against the saber at his own side. “I thought about how I would feel if someone made me give up my lightsaber, so I thought maybe you’d feel more like yourself if you had yours back, and honestly? It’s easier for me to get the materials than you, being a Jedi.” 

For a moment, she just stared tearfully at the small object, reaching out to brace a hand against his shoulder a moment later, still grinning stupidly. She wasn’t sure what to say, so they sat in silence for a moment, her gratitude burning deep in her chest. 

She’d have done the same, she thought absently, but it still meant a lot. 

“They called me Max,” she told him after the moment had passed, reaching down to hook the saber to her belt, where it belonged. “Maxima Jaylen, witty smuggler, rogue, gambler, and pilot. Revan always called me --”

“Jaybird?” 

Her eyes snapped to his face, finding his expression quietly amused, and yet resigned, the gold around his irises momentarily flaring at some thought dragging his emotions to the surface.  

Revan nodded, gathering her hands in her lap and leaning forward, tearing her face away from his. “Yeah. Jaybird. It’s still odd to think about, sometimes, being Revan. I knew before Malak told me, you know, but it’s still hard to really wrap my head around.” 

She hesitated, wondering how much she should tell him, exactly, but a large, warm hand on her shoulder reminded her that they were the same person. Even if their experiences weren’t exactly the same, there was finally someone else who understood exactly what this felt like. 

What being  **_Revan_ ** felt like. 

Besides, his expression was so stupidly earnest that it was probably near impossible for any normal person to deny him anything. 

“I went through it all alone. When I needed him most, Carth… abandoned me,” she laughed, bitterly, shocked at how much resentment she still felt -- not towards Carth, but the situation. “I understand why. I always did. But I had no one. He hated me, didn’t trust me anymore, shut me out, and Bastila…” Her heart leapt into her throat when she realized what Bastila had been going through, eyes snapping to his, looking up into his face. “I’m so sorry.” 

Cass laughed, her same bitter laugh, and rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s… Well, I can’t really say it’s no big deal. I knew every bit of pain she suffered at his hands like it was my own. Sick with worry and dread, and then seeing her… Fallen, blaming myself. This is one thing I can’t dismiss or shrug off. It still hurts. But I’ll survive it. Besides…” 

Another laugh. 

“Carth was an ass. I can’t imagine what it felt like having to face that and being in love with the guy. Yeesh.” 

Revan laughed, shaking her head slowly from side to side. “He tries. He really does. Carth still apologizes for that. I told him I wouldn’t have married him if I held it against him.” She paused for a moment, changing the subject, playfully shoving at him. “So what’s it like being married to Bastila? Does she nag you?” 

Cass snorted, his shoulders shaking with repressed laughter, eyes sparkling. “No. What she does do is argue with me. Constantly. Every time the Jedi Order is brought up, even in passing, she talks about how horrible what they did to me was. And…” he exhaled a breath, trying to keep his momentum, to stay happy. “And it’s obvious that it was, but I can’t fight every battle. I just want to retire.” 

“That sounds like Bastila alright,” Revan grinned back at him. “Do you have a hard time keeping up with her, being so old and all?” 

He finally laughed, the sound bouncing off the walls. 

“Me? Old? What does that make you?” 

“I’m young and beautiful,” she said, pressing her hand to her chest. “It’s impolite to call a lady old, Mr. Shan. Don’t you know that?” 

“So you’re a lady now?” He asked, shaking his head slowly from side to side, face softening a moment later before it grew more serious. “Did you hear that?” 

Revan froze, listening to the sound of the locking mechanism releasing, her expression brightening momentarily before she spun around, staring at her other self, sitting on the couch. “It’s Carth,” she said. “I… I don’t know how he’s going to react. I have no idea.” 

“To me?” Cass asked. “Historically, not well, though in my world we’re sort of… ironic best friends. I don’t know how he’ll feel about seeing his wife sitting on your couch with another man, though.” 

“Just let me handle this,” Revan said, standing. “I’m good at smooth talking people. You should know that. I’d bet you are, too.” 

Cass laughed softly, rubbing the back of his neck before taking a deep breath. “Right. Charismatic. Clever. Good at talking. I have faith in you, Max,” he grinned cheekily. “At least two times as much as I would in myself in this situation.” 

“Two times nothing is still nothing,” she muttered under her breath, earning herself a withering, and yet somehow amused, look from her companion. “We never plan anything.” 

“That’s not quite true. We did, once. But we both know what planning things too far ahead made us into,” he took a breath as the door opened, and Carth walked inside, looking at the two of them standing next to each other, like a broom and a … slightly shorter broom. “Show time.” 

“Revan?” Carth asked, looking toward Cass warily. “I was going to surprise you by coming home early. I… uh… Didn’t think you’d have a guest.”

“Either did I,” Revan admitted. “He just popped in. Which I mean literally, by the way, he sort of dimension hopped.” 

“Dimension hopped?” Carth asked, staring up into Cass’ face, crossing his arms over his chest. Revan could tell he was thinking deeply, the way his brow furrowed. “From where? Dimension of the Tree People?” 

“Wow. Did he grow a sense of humor by being around you?” Cass asked, crossing his arms over his chest, lips twitching up into a smile. “That’s amazing.” 

Revan sighed, suddenly realizing how annoying her defensive quips might actually be to people trying to negotiate in her presence. Was she really this… Dismissive? Flippant? He wasn’t annoying, it had been funny, but oh boy. 

_ Oh boy. _

“What is he talking about, Revan?” Carth asked, ignoring him, choosing to focus on her. 

“Well, dear,” she said, watching Cass mak an uncomfortable expression at the endearment, amused at the reaction. “Allow me to introduce you to Revan… Just… Me if I’d been a man instead. He’s… been here before. We don’t know how.” 

“You?” Carth asked, eyes shifting back to Cass, who was standing with his arms crossed loosely over his chest still. “I… Uh.” He paused, expression growing more scrutinizing. “I can see that, actually. Same… eyes. Same general… Air.” Carth took a deep breath. “So… How exactly did this … he… happen?” 

Cass and Revan exchanged a look. 

“We have no idea,” they answered in unison. 

And in the next second Cass was gone, leaving her standing alone with Carth, a lightsaber on her hip, the only real evidence he’d ever been there. 

“So we have no idea why this is happening?” Carth asked her, finally stepping into their apartment, the door closing behind him. “And here I thought I was going to be the surprising one, coming home early.”

Revan, arms crossed over her chest uncomfortably. “Well, I wasn’t trying to be surprising, in my defense. Sorry. It looks like nothing is ever simple with me.” 

“I knew that when I married you,” he said, walking forward and wrapping her in his arms. “Something tells me that isn’t the last we’ll see of him.”

Revan laughed softly and leaned into his touch. “Something tells me you’re right.” 

Still, she couldn’t nat the suspicion that there was something larger going on that any of them could understand. Everything has a reason, as she had learned long ago, even the seemingly impossible. The Force wanted them to meet, Revan just had to question why. 


End file.
